A few months ago, I stepped into a new role as Secretary on my HOA Board. We moved into this new community last summer so I was thinking this would be a great way to learn more and contribute.
I thought it would be straightforward. I was just going to be a regular director, but no one would take on secretary, so I thought, how hard can it be?
- Take notes.
- Send updates.
- Stay organized.
Yeah, no. I was wrong.
It took me a few months just to realize I wasn’t even taking the minutes correctly. I was recording way too much!
Now I have a better system. A cleaner format. I simply record the topics of discussions, the motions, seconds, and decisions made.
But that wasn’t the hard part.
The hard part?
Everything else. Especially, all the feedback from residents. Well, four in particular.
People certainly do have opinions.
A lot of them.
There’s a history here I wasn’t a part of. They seem to want me to know all of it.
Decisions that impacted everyone in the past. And how bad it was.
Concerns about roofs, repairs, costs, oh, and how the voting works.
And did I mention rules? So many rules!
At one point, I felt completely overwhelmed just by reading my inbox.
I thought, “this mess might be a good topic for my newsletter.”
Then I thought:
“Maybe I shouldn’t talk about this until I have it all figured out.”
Oh man! When I heard the resistance, I knew I should probably write about it.
Because this is a good example of how leadership works. Figuring it out in real time. Not waiting.
Wouldn’t that be nice if we could just figure everything out before making a decision? Before communicating?
Here’s what I’m learning—in real time:
1. I don’t have to take on everything that comes at me.
Just because someone shares something with me, doesn’t mean it’s mine to carry.
2. I can care about the residents without absorbing all the emotions that they dish out.
This one is big. Empathy doesn’t require emotional overload.
3. Clarity reduces stress.
The more I’ve gotten clear on my role & responsibilities, the boundaries, and the process… the calmer I feel. I highly recommend this.
4. Grounding myself and practicing gratitude.
For me, it’s the simple things:
- Walking around the neighborhood and by the river
- Noticing the beautiful flowering trees
- Getting to know people one conversation at a time
- Not taking things personally
Because here’s my truth:
The external noise isn’t going to go away. The emails never seem to stop coming. The issues will be there even after we all get new roofs.
But I’m getting better at managing my internal response to it.
And that’s inner leadership in a nutshell.
We (leaders) are not perfect, and we don’t have to have all the answers.
But learning how to stay steady and strong, while everything around you isn’t? It feels good.
So if something like this is happening to you, keep grounding yourself, and you will be so much more resilient.
Quick reflection for you:
Where in your life are you feeling pulled in too many directions?
And what would it look like to stay grounded instead of reactive?
If this is something you’re navigating, this is exactly the kind of work I do with clients.
Helping to:
- Set boundaries without guilt
- Manage stress without shutting down
- Lead without losing yourself
Reach out if you want support.
