A dear friend of mine is in the middle of packing up her life.
She just sold her condo and is getting ready to move to South Carolina—a big transition, a fresh chapter.
In the process, she came across something unexpected…
An old DVD.
It was from 36 years ago (1990). It blew me away.
This was back when Paul was working at a recovery treatment center, and they hosted a talent show for alumni.
We were in it.
Watching it felt like stepping into a time machine.
There I was —30 years old, Paul was 43.
People in recovery were reading poems, singing, dancing, lip-syncing…
And Paul and I did an act together.
I told a story… and he played the drums behind me.
The video quality wasn’t great.
The sound wasn’t perfect.
But I could hear enough.
And I found myself… completely captivated.
Watching her. Listening to her. I couldn’t remember the end of the story until she said it.
It was amazing to see a moment in my life that I hadn’t remembered!
She was five years sober.
She had just had a baby a few months earlier.
She was figuring out life day by day.
And it got me thinking…
If I could sit down with her today, what would I say?
I’d tell her this:
Take advantage of everything life has to offer.
Don’t worry so much about the future.
Take care of your body. Your mental health.
Be present with your child—soak it all in. I knew it would go by quickly and it did!
Live without regrets… because regrets can take you down a dangerous path.
Let go of resentments quickly. Because, well, same as regrets.
Say you’re sorry—even when it’s really hard.
Take ownership of your feelings (don’t blame others).
Trust that acceptance will come faster when you take full responsibility for your life.
And then something surprising happened.
As I thought back… and remembered where I was then . . .
I realized:
She was already doing those things. She lived that way.
Not perfectly.
There were hard moments.
There were disappointments.
There were times things didn’t turn out the way she expected or wanted them to.
But she didn’t stay stuck.
She moved forward.
She trusted.
She kept going.
And sitting here today…
I can honestly say:
It’s been an awesome life! I’m not sorry for any of what happened.
Not the challenges.
Not the lessons.
Not even the pain.
Because all of it shaped the life I have now. And I love my life.
Photo credit: Sherrill Reichenbach |
So here’s the reflection I want to leave you with:
👉 If you could talk to your younger self… what would you say?
And more importantly…
👉 Are you already living some of that wisdom today?
Sometimes we think too much about what we regret or what might have gone differently if we had only . . . .
But when we pause long enough to look back, we realize we were doing pretty darn well overall. We most likely did the best we could.
If you want to go deeper…
This kind of reflection is exactly the work we do in the Life Review Journey coaching program (private sessions with me).
It’s about:
- Recognizing all your accomplishments and life lessons
- Letting go of regrets and resentments to make peace with your past
- Figuring out what you want to do with the rest of your wild and precious life
- And using your story to move forward with clarity
If you are in your 50s, and this speaks to you, take this free quiz to see if you might be ready for a midlife review.
And if you are a younger person struggling in any way, there is a part of you who knows the advice to give you. It’s your future self.
I suggest you write down what you think your future self would tell you now and then heed that advice. You already know what you have to do. If you want to talk more about that, you can get on my calendar for a Discovery Call.
All my best,
Maureen
