Stress Relief
There was a day last week when I was feeling really stressed out. Too many technical glitches were happening, and I was feeling overwhelmed.
Paul was out doing his group at the prison for the evening, so I began scrolling through movies to watch, and when I saw it, I knew I had to watch it.
It was Rex Harrison and Audrey Hepburn from a 1964 production of the musical My Fair Lady.
I wanted to sing the songs because I knew it would help me feel better.
As I watched, it stirred something deep in me.
If you’re not familiar with it, the story follows Eliza Doolittle, a Cockney flower girl who is taken on as a “project” by Professor Henry Higgins. Through intense training, she learns how to speak “properly,” dress differently, and behave in ways that allow her to pass as a woman of high society.
From the outside, the transformation is remarkable.
But as I watched, I couldn’t help noticing something unsettling.
Despite her progress, Higgins continues to treat Eliza as less than human.
He calls her names—bug, baggage, thing, flower girl, lazy, irksome—and dismisses her feelings as if they don’t matter. He may have helped shape her outer transformation, but he never truly respects her.
And yet… she falls in love with him.
That part made me angry.
She had a real opportunity for a completely different life.
There was a young man who genuinely adored her. A chance to step fully into a new world.
Yet, instead, she returns to the very person who diminished her—even as he helped her “transform.” In my opinion that Henry Higgins was an abuser.
Maybe that ending was a sign of that era. Or maybe it’s a reminder of something that’s still true today.
A new identity requires more than new language and new clothes
When we decide to step into a new identity—personally or professionally—it’s tempting to focus on the externals:
- Speaking differently
- Acting more confident
- Changing our appearance
- Adopting a new role or title
Those things matter. But they’re not enough.
Because if your mindset and self-esteem don’t change, you may find yourself:
- Entering new rooms but accepting old treatment
- Achieving growth while still tolerating disrespect
- Becoming “someone new” while staying emotionally attached to people or patterns that no longer fit.
- Transformation is an inside job.
A few pointers if you’re stepping into a new identity
If you’re in a season of change, here are a few reflections to sit with:
- Notice who reflects your worth back to you. New identities often come with new circles. Pay attention to who sees you clearly—and who doesn’t.
- Retire the old names you’ve been called. Especially the ones you still call yourself. Those labels don’t get to follow you forward.
- Practice self-respect before you demand it from others. Boundaries become clearer when your inner posture changes.
- Let your inner voice evolve along with your outer role. Growth isn’t just about sounding different – it’s about believing you deserve more.
You are not meant to become a “better version” of yourself just to be tolerated.
You are meant to become more fully you – with dignity, self-respect, and choice.
We are worth it!
Certified Hypnotherapist
I’m stepping into a new identity as a Certified Hypnotherapist! I’m creating a new website with a new program I can’t wait to tell you about, which I’ll be rolling out in March.
In the meantime, stay warm and grounded. And take care of your mental health.
All my best,
Maureen
P.S. Yesterday I celebrated 41 years of continuous sobriety. If you are struggling with an addiction, I can help you with Hypnotherapy. More on that coming in March, or if you need help right away, reach out by replying to this email.
