Perspective Is Everything—Especially During the Holidays
This week, as we’ve been choosing paint colors and design features for our new rec room, I’ve been reminded again just how different our perspectives can be.
What feels like a warm blue to me looks cold and unappealing to Paul. How can I get him to see it the way I do? Not happening.
In my hypnotherapy class this week, it was demonstrated that we all see our timelines differently.
It’s a perspective I never thought of before. My past is on the left and my future on the right.
But for many, the past is behind them and the future in front. There are other ways to see it, too.
And isn’t that true for anything/everything in life as well?
I once said to a friend, “Wow, look at the sky! It’s all peachy mixed with orange and blue—beautiful!”
She looked up and said, “Really? All I see is gray with a little pink.”
I could hardly believe she couldn’t see what I was seeing! Who was right? Both of us?
I believe our perspective shapes what we think we’re seeing.
And this becomes extra important around the holidays, when we’re gathered with our peeps—some we adore, some… we may feel neutral about at best—and everyone’s patterns, personalities, and past stories rise to the surface.
The Need to Be Right (And How to Stay Sane Around It)
You probably have at least one person in your circle who always needs to be right; at the dinner table, during casual conversation, or even about the temperature of the mashed potatoes. (Is it you? Sometimes it’s me, that’s why I ask. <insert eye roll emoji>
Their certainty can feel exhausting, especially when you’re trying to enjoy the moment.
Here’s the reframe:
Their need to be right has nothing to do with you.
It might be rooted in insecurity, fear, habit, or simply a lifelong pattern of equating “rightness” with their self-worth. Or maybe it’s just a fact for them in that moment.
When you release your need to defend your perspective, something cool can happen: the interaction becomes neutral rather than stressful.
Try responding with phrases like:
- “Interesting, I never thought about it that way.”
- “You could be right.”
- “That’s one way to see it.”
You’re not giving up your viewpoint—you’re giving up the battle.
You’re keeping your peace.
Shift Your Story, Shift Your Experience
The holidays bring up narratives we’ve rehearsed for years:
- “Uncle so-and-so always says something inappropriate.”
- “My sister will criticize my cooking.”
- “This visit is going to be stressful.”
Yet fretting about an event before it happens doesn’t really prepare you—it actually primes you to see the worst.
When you change your internal story, your nervous system relaxes.
When your nervous system relaxes, your perception changes much more easily because you’re not on high alert.
Then, when your perception changes, your entire experience can be better.
If you catch yourself in that same old story, try asking yourself:
“What else could be true?”
Maybe this year will surprise you. Perhaps someone will show up differently. Maybe you will show up differently.
Practical Tips for Peaceful Holiday Conversations
1. Let people have their perspective.
Remember the sky story. Your truth and theirs can coexist.
2. Anchor yourself before walking in.
Take two slow breaths and visualize the outcome you want: connection, ease, gratitude.
3. Redirect instead of reacting.
If a conversation gets tense, gently shift the topic:
“Let’s put a pin in that—tell me how your year has been.”
4. Find something to appreciate.
Even the most challenging person likely has one redeeming quality. Name it silently to yourself. (This really works!)
5. Set internal boundaries.
You don’t need to absorb other people’s moods.
Their emotional weather doesn’t have to become your forecast.
6. Allow yourself to leave mentally or physically.
Excuse yourself to get water, help in the kitchen, check on the kids, or give the dog/cat some love. Breaks are healthy.
A Holiday Reflection
Your peace doesn’t come from the perfect meal, the perfect décor, or the perfect behavior from others.
It comes from your own perspective—how you interpret what’s happening and the meaning you assign to it.
When you shift how you look at things, the things you look at truly do change.
Wishing you a season filled with peace & excitement, health & treats, love & healing.
Oh, and if you are wondering how Paul and I decided on a color scheme for the new basement, we had Dove over here, who tested with a super high aptitude for seeing color spectrums, and they helped us decide on a softish greyish green color called Quietude. We all love it.
Love,
Maureen 🤍
P.S. If you are looking for a new 2026 with special goals and a coach who will help you reach them, get on my calendar for a Discovery Call.
