Last week, my 91-year-old mother fell and bumped her head. She put ice on it right away and took care of herself.
The CAT scan showed that everything in her head is okay. But because of the blood-thinning medication she’s on, the bruise on her forehead gradually settled down around her eyes.
When I saw her, I actually winced. She isn’t in pain, but seeing the purple discoloration made it look like she has two black eyes! It made me feel vulnerable about her vulnerability.
Normally, I do a 4-5 hour visit, but I decided we both needed a 24-hour sleepover.
I was calling it my mini vacation. Last week, I helped my friend move out of her condo and was feeling exhausted.
So I planned a surprise outing for mom and me. I told her I’d pick her up at 1:00 on Friday.
We drove to Hubbard Park and Castle Craig in Meriden, Connecticut. We admired the gorgeous view, breathed in the fresh air, and spent time surrounded by miles of green trees stretching to the horizon. Apparently on a good day you can see Long Island to the East and the Berkshire Mountains to the West.
Standing there, looking out over that beautiful landscape, I found myself thinking about perspective.
A few days earlier, I was in the middle of physical hard labor, and when I was still, my mind wandered to mom’s fall and what could have happened (but didn’t!).
I had to keep bringing myself back to the reality of the moment and to the fact that everything was okay.
During the mini-vacation, I celebrated that she had recovered from hip replacement surgery only a few months earlier, and she could easily walk to a beautiful overlook and was still eager to explore something new.
Even if she looked injured, she wasn’t. The sunglasses hid the black eyes.
The facts hadn’t changed.
Only my perspective had.
As leaders, professionals, parents, and humans, we all face moments that can pull our attention toward what is wrong, scary, or uncertain. Those things are real and deserve acknowledgment.
But sometimes the most powerful question we can ask ourselves is:
“What else is true?”
Yes, my mother fell.
And she is resilient.
Yes, she is aging.
And she is still curious.
Yes, there are challenges ahead.
And there is still beauty available today.
The view from Castle Craig reminded me that perspective doesn’t change reality. It changes how we experience reality.
And often, that makes all the difference.
“Resilience is not the absence of difficulty. It’s the decision to keep looking for the view that can boost a positive perspective.”
If life has felt heavy lately, consider giving yourself a mini-vacation. We humans are remarkably resilient. And sometimes all it takes is a little distance—a walk, a drive, a change of scenery, or a quiet moment in nature—to remind us of what is also true.
As for my mom, nothing keeps her down. Next week, she’ll be on stage again performing in a play with the Elim Park Players. She’s an excellent role model.
Enjoy. every. day.
Love,
Maureen
