I saw a colleague post something on Linked In that gave me chills. Her post brought me instantly to a time and place that is always uncomfortable for me. It was simply a picture of her in an empty conference room in a hotel that she was about to speak in.

The chairs were all lined up and she had her handouts on the front table. She was smiling, ready.

Her first slide was cued up and now she was just waiting for her audience to arrive and it was 20 minutes before show time.

For me that is the most difficult few minutes . . . right before the talk. That last 15 minutes when there is nothing to do but wait.

The energy is high and adrenaline is pumping through my body. I feel the nerves, the sweaty hands, the butterflies, and sometimes I hear the fears float to the surface of my mind. I do not like those last few minutes. Once I get started? I’m fine!

Rehearsal always helps of course. Being prepared is key to handling the nerves and simply changing my thoughts to say “I’m excited!” Rather than “I’m nervous.”

But sometimes I don’t feel as prepared and those fears pop up. “What will they think of me?”

One of the challenges to stepping in front of a group of people and “running the show” is that they will really see you. Stepping into leadership means that you are no longer hiding.

And when you are trying to be someone you are not, things can get really tough. The tool I recommend here is to be cool with letting people really see you and know who you are and what you stand for.

When you live your best life following your personal values, develop yourself and do your best to help others, then you can truly be seen and have nothing to worry about.

Showing up and doing your best is the simplest way to practice the first leadership trait in Maureen’s opinion of the top 3 Leadership Skills. (They might change tomorrow but these are really good to remember!)

Top 3 Leadership Skills

1. Radical Transparency – Remember what you learned about honesty when you were younger? I learned that if I stick to the truth I don’t have to remember lies I may have told. Just express your best recollection and tell the truth. When you are a leader and practice being super honest all the time, you will be seen as transparent. People will always know where they stand with you. This builds trust. When you need to hide something due to confidentiality, just say “sorry, it’s confidential right now.”
2. Over Communicate – I’ve learned while getting my Masters degree in Education with a focus on training and performance improvement, that we need to repeat things over and over again in different ways to have it sink in to the receiver. There are so many filters we each have that may get in the way of the message that it bares repeating in a variety of ways until you know it’s been heard. Once may not be enough. Don’t assume that people know what you are thinking. Ask and listen. You’ll be more likely to build trust if you are consistently letting your people know what’s new, what’s expected and don’t forget to reinforce the behaviors they are doing well.
3. Empathetic Listening – The biggest gift you can give to another is your time and undivided attention. Listening to another is usually highly appreciated. It makes the other person feel valued and seen. And you can really enhance your listening skills when you read between the lines to identify how the person is feeling and why they are feeling that way – especially when they are hurting. This builds huge amounts of trust in your leadership.

Practicing these 3 skills will build trust with your team faster than anything. And trust is key if you are leading a team, a family, an organization or an event.

So be real. Be authentic and transparent. Be forthcoming with information as soon as you can. And be compassionate and empathetic when need be.

All my best,

Maureen

P.S. The masks are coming off and training is back in the classroom. Woohoo! Do you have a team at work that has changed or needs a strong boost in morale? Or perhaps you have new team members and everyone needs to get to know each other better? Let’s talk about how any of my Personality@Work courses can help build a strong transparent and vibrant culture in your organization. Book yourself a conversation with me or click below to watch a short video of what this new platform called Catalyst can do for your team.​

On the podcast today . . .

My guest this week, is Ann Hince. Ann shares her story of growing up in an alcoholic home with a mostly absent father and a mom who was unhappy, sick with cancer, and no one ever talked about it. Ann shares her story of healing the trauma she lived through after 20 years of not acknowledging it.

Ann shares about a tool she used and how that healing journey unfolded. It’s truly amazing what can be done to not only heal emotionally and mentally, but the physical changes that occurred where nothing short of miraculous. You’ll enjoy this episode!