Balance
One of secrets I often talk about in my workshops and seminars is how to create more balance in your life.
Most people I’ve coached think that having balance means an equal amount of time given to the special people in your life or equal amounts of time for work and family.
In my opinion this isn’t how it works. It’s really about balancing out the activities in your life to make sure that you are devoting large chunks of your time to the things that you value most.
Don’t worry about giving equal time, the point is to focus your attention on what you are doing to make it quality time.
What I mean by quality time is to devote your entire attention to doing what you are doing and not trying to multitask. Multitasking used to be a quality that we thought looked good on our resume but science has proven that it takes much longer to do 2 tasks going back and forth than to first do one and then the other.
Being fully present to the either the task you are working on or putting your attention fully on the person you are with in the moment.
That Inner Voice
Sometimes it happens to me that I can be very focused on an activity and then a little voice pipes in the back of my mind telling me I should be doing something else. For example, I can be relaxing in front of the TV and the voice reminds me of work that needs to be done. Or perhaps I am focused on a work project and suddenly my mind will start whispering thoughts that I should feel guilty because I’m not spending enough time with (fill in the blank).
This little internal voice can poison the energy I’m devoting to my current activity but I’ve learned how to turn it off. However, I use it as a reminder to look at what I am spending my time doing and the energy I am devoting. Am I just doing “busy work?” Do I play and relax enough? Have I been productive and creative enough?
It’s easy to get out of balance. Lately I’ve felt out of balance because I haven’t gotten enough work done. I had all these plans of completing certain projects during the cold winter months when I had to be inside. But it hasn’t all gotten done and it’s almost springtime.
I took some time recently to look at how I’ve been spending my time and then I planned out work time and play time. Next, I block out my time on the calendar for these activities and try to follow it. This way I get my energy flowing in whatever direction I need it to be in to feel productive, be there for my clients so I can stay focused when I am in that activity. This helps me have quality time with both work and play and feel a lot more balanced in my head.
The true balancing act is to not beat yourself up if you fall off the beam a little. It takes mental and emotional flexibility and practice of course.
It also takes discipline to create new habits that help you work for what you want.
When I did this exercise of looking at how I spend my time, it was clear that a little more than a 1/3 of my day (24 hours) is spent sleeping and self maintenance things like eating, showering, getting dressed, etc. Another 6-8 hours is spent at my desk but it is interspersed with family since I work at home. And currently my family includes a baby grand daughter so it’s been challenging. How can I not be distracted by this lovely being?! But she won’t always be here and she won’t always be this age so I allow the distraction and I remind myself how much I love my life.
Take a look at the chucks of time and ask yourself if it feels balanced to you. Is your life filled with activities that you value? Are there some things missing that would really fill you up and feed your soul? If so, then it may be time to make some changes.
Making changes is not that hard. Our mind sometimes tells us what we want may be hard to attain. But don’t let that deter you! The thing is, if you don’t design and work for what you really want you’ll most likely regret it later on.
You can do it! First make a decision and then put one foot in front of the other to make it happen. Create a new habit about taking action. Consistent action towards your goal will turn what you want into reality every time. Just don’t give up and you can create whatever you want!
And if it’s a little hard, that’s a good thing.
One of my favorite quotes comes from W. Clement Stone who said “For every adversity there is a seed of an equivalent or greater benefit.” Meaning we are ALWAYS better off after our experience even if it seemed like a bad thing at the time.
Do yourself a favor and take an inventory of how you are living your values. If you are not happy, you are not spending enough time balancing out what you give your time too.
Take this values inventory on our Resources page (free download) and decide what are your highest values? Then look at your time and how much of your energy are you putting into your highest values. The more you align up with your values, the happier you’ll be and the more satisfying life you’ll have.
Have a fabulous summer,
Maureen
