There are so many good “L” words to speak about when it comes to leadership topics. There is Love, Laughter, Lead, Life, Live, Luck, and Luxury to name a few. But I think LISTEN is a skill that you simply cannot do without if you are going to be a successful leader.
There are 4 attributes of Listening when you break it down:
- Attending – this means you are looking at the person who is speaking and giving your full attention. Give small verbal cues or head nods to indicate you are listening and of course, stop talking or interrupting or looking at your phone, etc.
- Clarifying – is asking a question about what that person said to make them go deeper into what they are talking about and give you more information. This gets the other person to say more and keep them talking.
- Listening with Empathy – if there is a lot of emotion behind the other person’s words, you state what you think they are feeling and why they are feeling that way. Example: “It sounds like you are really disappointed that you didn’t get the job.” Keep it simple. You don’t need to “feel what they are feeling.” But when they know you “get it,” they are more likely to move onto discussing solutions.
- Summarize or paraphrase – at the end of their share, state in your own words what you heard them say. If and when they say “yes, you got it.” Then you can get to sharing what you think and help them work on solutions if appropriate.
When you are attentive and listening to gain clarity, you can summarize well and help that person feel heard deeply BEFORE you begin sharing your opinions or advice.
This is how you can learn about what is really going on in someone else’s world and if that person works with you or for you, listening can help you make much better decisions because you will know a lot more.
The better you listen the more people will tell you stuff that normally they never would because you are building trust and you are building a better relationship.
