EQ at Work

One of the first leadership conferences I organized at work, was in 2001, and we had a full day booked with 5 speakers. The audience was about 500 corporate leaders across Technology, Legal, Finance & Human Resources departments.

I remember the keynote speaker was talking about emotional resilience and said something like this:

He said it was important for leaders to squeeze out the excess water when our sponge is full before we can take on more.

This stuck with me and made so much sense.

However, it’s easier said than done. Sometimes it feels easier to stuff things down and push it away instead of dealing with the feelings or releasing them.

You know how it is when you let go of some emotional weight how much lighter you feel?

When I feel lighter I feel happier. I have a spring in my step. I feel balanced. Then when something challenging happens at work, I can easily soak it up and then let it go right through me.

I learned that when I allow myself to decompress after work with relaxation, a good meal, a brisk walk or maybe venting to a friend or my spouse, I can let it all go and enjoy my evening.

Yet, when I choose to brood over the things I can’t change, try to figure out how to fix someone else’s problem, or worry about what someone else thinks of me, well then, I haven’t let it go and I continue to carry it with me into the next day/situation.

Now some personality types deal with this easier or better than others.

In fact, some types don’t want any emotions to show up at work. Ever. I’ve worked with managers who think there is no room for emotions in the workplace. Many of them were in tech, legal, and finance.

Is this realistic? Not if you’re human. And some of us are much better at hiding it and pretending we feel nothing.

As a leader, of course sometimes you need to put aside your feelings for the moment. In fact, it’s expected. This is what saturates your sponge.

Read the following statements. Which statement feels more accurate for you?

• Composed and objective most of the time; a good listener; keep quiet about controversial topics.
• Dynamic and outgoing; always expressing your opinions about things; wear your heart on your sleeve.

How you see yourself and how others see you may be two different perspectives as well. But, before we get too deep here, I just want to point out that you can’t change anyone else’s point of view, you can only change your own. I know you knew that.

No matter which type you are, you will have to deal with Life’s curve balls and you’ll get a full sponge. Like when you find out your most valued employee is leaving, or your awesome boss is going to change teams leaving you behind, or find out someone you love has cancer or had an overdose, then it’s time to take extra special care of yourself.

Extra special care includes things like taking a “mental health” day(s) from work, scheduling a spa treatment, curling up with a good book, ordering out, or spending time with a good friend who will listen.

Know that when your sponge gets too full, you can easily get overwhelmed. When our system is overloaded, we can’t pick up on the queues others may be giving us at work or home and it’s harder to read the room.

Help yourself in the following ways:

1. Find out more about your emotional mindsets and personality by joining the roundtable discussion (see below).
2. Treat yourself like you would a good friend. Be compassionate with yourself.
3. Don’t take on more than you can if you feel saturated. Set boundaries and say no to others when you can.
4. Set up a daily routine of self-care so you can deal with emotional drama and curve balls at work or home.

When I work with teams, I share that there are 8 emotional mindsets associated with your personality type. If you’d like to know more, I’d love to have you join me in a camera-on, roundtable discussion, zoom event, on February 16 (noon, ET) called Emotional Intelligence and Personality Roundtable Discussion. (See details below to register).

Remember to squeeze out your emotional sponge each day with self-care so you can be more resilient and confidently deal with life’s curve balls. I hope to see you at the Roundtable!

All my best,

Maureen

P.S. If you want to know more about your own personality, I encourage you to take the full Everything DiSC assessment for only $150 You’ll take a 20-minute online assessment and meet with me for 1 hour to discuss your 26-page report and how it can improve your relationships.

Click for details of the upcoming Roundtable Discussion . . .

Free zoom session, Thursday, Feb 16, Noon-1pm (Eastern)