What is your greatest strength?

January 12, 2023

What is your greatest strength?

I’m in a performance review with my boss at the time and he’s telling me that I have “too much enthusiasm” and I may want to tone it down a bit.

I could feel my face contorting in a surprised scowl and I was like whaaaaat?

Apparently, he had received some feedback from others that there was a perception that I was a “loose cannon.”

I retorted, “I’m not a loose cannon! I’m a positive person who has a lot of enthusiasm for my projects and I like what I do. How can this be a bad thing?” I honestly had thought THIS was my greatest strength. Other bosses had praised me on this quality!

He said, “Well, Maureen, perception is everything. You have to manage other people’s perceptions too. And when you have too much enthusiasm some people feel like you may not hear or listen to their ideas.”

Really? I interpreted this as being told to put a serious mask on and not be my authentic self so that some people would feel more comfortable around me.

It just pissed me off honestly. But I did tone it down with certain people who I thought were behind that comment. God forbid we should have a good time at work! (Can you sense my animosity?)

But I’m sure you’ve received some kind of feedback like this before. If you’re too quiet, you’re told to speak up more. If you’re too talkative you may have heard “shut up and listen.” It doesn’t feel good. But these are just growing pains.

For a long time after that conversation it would just irk me whenever I thought about it.

I am a good listener even if I am excited about my ideas! (Said in a loud confident voice inside my head.)

My point of view at the time was: I am NOT responsible for other people’s perceptions of me. Nor am I responsible for their feelings. But I am responsible for the quality of my deliverables and managing my relationships so it all gets done.

However, as I have matured and grown I’ve softened my views on this quite a bit. In fact, it was after that feedback that I realized my greatest strength may also be my biggest weakness. When you always rely on the one core strength, it can make you weaker in other areas.

For example, always being my happy, enthusiastic self could be (and was) grating on some people nerves. It was important for me to “read the room, and act accordingly.” It’s not so hard really.

Just like the Eeyore’s of the world could really get to me. (If you don’t know who Eeyore is, look up Winnie the Pooh.)

If I am constantly only thinking in my perspective, and never putting myself in another’s shoes, I’m not going to be able to experience compassion and empathy for others either.

Emotional intelligence is not only understanding how you feel but it’s reading between the lines, getting out of your own perspective and seeing things through another’s eyes.

Relationships are tricky but I’ve learned how to read the personality styles of people and it makes everything a lot more clear on how to give them what they want/need and still be true to myself.

Who are you? How happy are you in your relationships at work?

Are you more of a support person or are you always out in front of the pack overcoming challenges and pushing the agenda?

Are you resolute in your beliefs and ideas or are you more receptive to other viewpoints?

We all have a natural default we go to when it comes to our mindsets and attitudes at work. And those natural defaults are driven by your personality style.

If you’d like to find out more about yourself, your style, and understand how to leverage that knowledge with your relationships at work, please join me for a free training next Wednesday, Jan 18, 2023, at noon (ET) for an hour.

Click the link below to register. Feel free to forward this information to your manager or a friend who could benefit.

I hope to see some of you there.

Maureen

Sign me up!