Defining Yourself
When I first got clean at 24, I was: angry, scared, ashamed, guilty, used up, and unsure of who I was and what I wanted. I knew I liked to work, please my boss, get things done on time, and also, I liked to dance, feel high, laugh, eat burgers and pizza, and sleep late.
As I began to work on myself in recovery, I realized I didn’t have a strong belief in myself. I started to tear down old beliefs that weren’t serving me but it was hard to replace those thoughts with new, strong beliefs because I didn’t feel good about myself and had low self-esteem.
I continued to work at it though. I didn’t give up and things started to get better.
I got a better job, started working to get my health back, decided who I wanted to hang around with, and tried on a few different personas.
It was actually a fun time! I realized that I could try on new behaviors and if I didn’t get the results I wanted I could stop that and try something new.
I think this is the impetus as to why I changed jobs so much in my corporate career. I had 13 different jobs in 27 years. I’d work somewhere for around 2 years and then I would move on to something else that interested me.
I was well into my 30s and was still thinking I didn’t quite know what I wanted to be when I grew up.
Finally, I got a job in Human Resources at work with an amazing boss who led me to believe I could achieve much higher levels in my career if I believed more deeply in myself.
I went back to school in my 40s and got my BA in Psychology and my MS in Education.
I kept growing and giving the best of myself as I continued to figure out who I was.
Here’s what I know about myself now:
- My highest values are personal growth, connection, spirituality
- My roles are wife/partner, mother, grandmother, friend, traveler, motorcycle adventurer, speaker, author, trainer & coach (not all necessarily in that order)
- I love my: husband, mom/sibs, kids & grandkids, work, attitude, body, friends, clients, nature, vacations, movies, books
- I thrive when meeting new people and hearing their stories, being in front of a group training or speaking, helping others to succeed, hanging out with family and/or friends, riding on a motorcycle, playing with my grandkids, eating
It took me a lifetime to figure out who I am and I’m still learning. I’ve changed my beliefs about myself over and over again. Old habits die hard and I’m no exception to that rule.
What I learned is that you are much stronger than you think you are.
You can do amazing things if you just believe in your dreams and your capacity to reach for them.
That your Higher Power will always help you go the extra distance and will handle what you cannot.
If you feel like you are still trying to figure out who you are, be patient but make choices.
Try on some things and listen to your emotions and your body for clues to see if that behavior or decision lights you up or makes you feel heavy.
If you are feeling heavy ALL the time, it may be time for a negativity detox.
Negativity Detox: Watch your thoughts and if they feel negative, try to lighten them up. Vow to banish negative thinking. Get in touch with what you are grateful for and focus on that when you notice negative thoughts arising. Do this for 7 days.
If you want help . . .
If you’d like some help figuring out who you are, I would like to offer you a 1-hour zoom call with me where you would take a 20 minute, online personality assessment, and then we’d talk about how you can leverage your personality in life and career to get you to the next level.
The cost is only $150.
You can book that session right now by clicking here. Choose the 60 Minute DiSC Assessment and Consultation option.
In the meantime, do some self-reflection and write out:
- Your highest values
- Your roles in life
- What you love
- When do you thrive
All my best,
Maureen
On the Emerge. Evolve. Lead. podcast this week . . .
My guest this week is Michaell Magrutsche. Michaell is a neurodiverse individual who will share what that means. He has dyslexia and dysgraphia and sees the world through different eyes because he doesn’t work well within our world systems. He is an artist, speaker, and educator, helping raise awareness of our limitless human potential through art creation.
I learned a lot from Michael and you will too! Click below to listen now.
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