A Shift in Mindset
It was a beautiful day in May back in 1972. I was 11 years old and I had been riding my brand new red, 3 speed, Columbia bicycle that I just bought that day.
It was the first time I had ever saved my money for anything! I paid half and my parents paid half and it was totally mine. I rode that thing from the time we got home from the store until dinner.
After dinner I went off to the neighbors to babysit for Taylor (2) and Todd (4) and my sister was driven across town to her babysitting job.
My dad came over around 9, after the kids went to bed, and he watched TV with me for a little while. After he left I fell asleep on the water bed sofa (it was the 70’s after all).
Devastation Hit in the Middle of the Night
I woke up abruptly to a pounding on the door. It was my Dad again. I looked at the clock. 1:30AM. What?
He entered calmly enough and asked where the phone was. I pointed to the desk in the living room. Then he asked for the phone book and I knew something was wrong because it was right there next to the phone. Apparently Dad was in shock but still functioning. He had some burns which I didn’t yet know about.
When I asked him what was wrong, he said, “Our house almost burnt down.”
Well, that was an understatement! When I turned my body and looked out the large bay window behind me I saw a million lights flashing in the night!
There were yellow and orange flames leaping 50 feet into the air from our house which was ON FIRE. In addition to the flames from the fire there were also red, blue, yellow and white lights from the fire engines and police vehicles which spun crazily adding to the chaos. I was totally shocked to see it and my body started shaking.
Dad was on the phone now, calling to make sure my sister was still at the babysitter’s and not in the burning house. He confirmed she had just left with Mr. P. who was bringing her home. She was safe.
He told me everyone had gotten out ok and not to worry. Then he left.
I stood there glued to the window not able to identify all the feelings that swirled inside me. Within an hour the fire was extinguished.
My siblings were split up and with different friends and neighbors. I stayed with a neighborhood friend, Jill.
My parents went to the hospital because my Dad had suffered some burns on his hands and his feet.
When the sun came up at 5 AM, Jill and I walked over to my house. It was deserted now.
The first thing I saw was my new bike completely bent out of shape with melted tires. I was devastated and began crying.
The house was not completely burnt down but as I walked through it I found everything ruined by either fire, water or the heat damage. I thought, “This is the worst day of my life.”
Next I went looking for my parakeet Pearl and found her dead in the cage. Agonizing grief filled me. In addition, my grandfather’s precious paintings were all ruined. All of our personal belongings were gone!
I knew things would never be the same and to this day the smell of a house fire or charred wood brings back a flood of memories from that day.
A Strange and Beautiful Thing Happened
But then, as the sun rose higher on that Sunday morning an amazing series of events began to unfold.
People came from all over town to drop off money, clothes, gift certificates and promises of furniture and other things our family of 8 might need.
And as they came there were many who stopped to tell me, “You are so lucky that no one was killed.” And “What a miracle you all got out in time.”
My mom said she thought it was her mother who had just recently passed, who woke them up in time to get out safely. Our precious dog Sparky woke up my father by barking at the fire. My parents and brothers had to run down the stairs with fire on both sides climbing the walls.
I remember our Priest came by with a collection they had taken at Mass just that morning. People brought us bags of clothes in all different sizes for the 6 of us kids. We were invited to cookouts and restaurants.
My father came home from the hospital with bandages on his hands and feet but it could have been a lot worse (they all said).
An Outpouring of Love Shifted Everything
The outpouring of love and giving from the community turned my heart inside out. I felt giddy and blessed and lucky somehow.
By the time I went to bed that night I had plenty of clothes, food, a roof over my head and so much love in my heart I will never ever forget it. I was thanking God for experiencing love, joy and a miracle that we were alive.
What started out as the worst day turned into the best day because of how I was told to focus my attention. An amazing lesson to learn at 11 years old.
Things can be replaced. Yes, there were some things that were gone forever like family photos and cherished paintings but our lives were intact. My Dad would heal. I could get a new bike. Our family survived and we became much stronger for it.
You can change the meaning of any childhood trauma if you just look for the good. There is always a hidden blessing.
We are all capable of changing the meaning of the drama and events of our life. Even if it’s many years later, we can still change it to work for us and not against us.
I can help you reframe your past if you are willing to work on it. Let’s talk: https://maureenrg.youcanbook.me
